Paly ABC - INSULATION

Humans by nature need contact with others. Being able to talk to someone who understands us, listens to us and is interested in our lives is important for our well-being and mental health. And while the need to spend time with others seems to diminish over the years, there are times in life when support and proximity to other people is especially important.

When a woman is expecting her first child, she can count on the interest of those around her. Close friends and distant acquaintances inquire about her well-being, compliment her on how beautiful she looks, and often promise to help with the baby when she comes into the world. And then the toddler is born and everything changes. After the first wave of admiration for the baby (no longer its mother), a void appears. Friends melt away, the promised support does not come, and hope turns into bitter disappointment. And although the young mother is with another person around the clock, she feels lonely and separated from the rest of the world. The relationship with the child is not symmetrical. The adult has to provide security, take responsibility for the child, as well as care and attention. This can be exhausting, especially when there are no people around to support the primary caregiver. In addition, recovering from childbirth takes time. Fatigue and the overload of new responsibilities can make it so that, despite the burning need for contact with other adults, there is simply not enough energy to organize a gathering at home or go out with friends.

Parents who are raising a child with a chronic illness are at additional risk of isolation. They are more likely to face misunderstanding, belittling of their situation or avoidance by other (once close) people. Loneliness and feelings of isolation can translate into the relationships they form with their children. It would seem that the more time spent with a child, the better. However, the caregiver's well-being is equally important. If he or she is chronically tired, with all decisions and responsibilities resting on his or her shoulders, this can lead to unwanted and guilt-inducing behavior toward the child. At the same time, caregivers may experience a decline in self-confidence, in their own parenting skills and competence.

Isolation and associated loneliness puts people at risk of sleep difficulties, lowered mood, the onset or worsening of anxiety, and increases the risk of depression. People experiencing long-term isolation perform worse in remembering new information, learning and other cognitive processes.

The ongoing pandemic is also increasing the risk of loneliness and isolation among children. For young people who previously went to school, regularly met with friends and attended extra-curricular activities, this time is proving particularly painful. However, it is worth remembering that there are children who experienced such isolation long before the lockdown began. These are children who face chronic illnesses, are often forced to stay at home or in treatment centers for long periods of time, and are unable to participate in lessons and social gatherings. Unfortunately, the lack of friends and regular peer group activities puts young people at risk of developing emotional problems. And while younger children can function well at home together with supportive parents and siblings to play with, for teenagers this proves to be a challenge. For adolescents growing up, a peer group is just as important as family, and parental support may no longer be enough. And while the first weeks after the schools closed brought some respite to many young people, as classes were not as intense and there was no need to meet disliked students, after a while the lack of direct personal contact began to be painfully felt.

Being locked up at home is a factor that increases the fear of going outside, as it takes away our ability to interact with the outside world on a daily basis and tame our anxiety. Young people in this difficult time need even more understanding and support. Assure them that they can always count on you, that you are beside them, and that they can come to you with any issue. Don't impose on them, however. Teenagers need more privacy and independence than younger children - after all, they are slowly entering adulthood. Respect this, but stay close. Together you will survive the hardships of pandemonium and adolescence.

LITERATURE:

Mandai M., Kaso M., Takahashi Y., Nakayama T. (2018), Loneliness among mothers raising children under the age of 3 years and predictors with special reference to the use of SNS: a community-based cross-sectional study, BMC Women's Health

Thompson T., Rodebaugh T.L., Bessaha M.L., Sabbath E.L., The Association Between Social Isolation and Health: An Analysis

of Parent-Adolescent Dyads from the Family Life, Activity, Sun, Health,and Eating Study, Clinical Social Work Journal

Florian V., Krulik T. (1991), Loneliness and social support of mothers of chronically ill children, Social Science & Medicine

Currie G., Szabo J. (2020), Social isolation and exclusion: the parents' experience of caring for children with rare neurodevelopmental disorders, International Journal of Qualitative Studies on Health and Well-being

Caspi A., Harrington H., Moffitt T. E., Milne B. J., Poulton R., (2006), Socially Isolated Children 20 Years Later, Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine

Loades M.E. et al (2020), Rapid Systematic Review: The Impact of Social Isolation and Loneliness on the Mental Health of Children and Adolescents in the Context of COVID-19,Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry