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For several months in mom's belly, the baby was carried and rocked nonstop, so after birth it needs physical contact just as much to grow healthily.

Studies report that touch plays a particularly important role in babies born prematurely. Skin-to-skin contact, kangarooing, massages - the tenderness of the parent and medical staff helps the baby thrive. Babies who experience physical contact from birth gain weight faster and can leave the hospital walls even days earlier than those who have not been touched. For premature babies, every minute of closeness is important.

Positive changes under the influence of touch occur not only in the child. It has been observed that proximity with a toddler has a positive effect on the well-being of parents. In addition, the skin area on the chest of mothers who have just given birth has the ability to change the temperature by 1-2 degrees Celsius. The skin temperature adjusts to what the toddler just needs. If the baby's temperature goes down, the mother's temperature goes up. If, on the other hand, the baby's temperature is elevated, the mother's skin cools.

Touch is a form of communication. When we are happy, we want to share our joy by hugging others. When we are sad, disappointed or have had a difficult day hugging a loved one can ease our pain. Intuitively, we know that touch is beneficial to us and we aspire to it ourselves. The same is true for children. Toddlers seek our closeness by sitting on our laps or cuddling with us. When they get angry and upset one effective strategy is a hug from a parent or other close person. A child who is angry needs the help of an adult to regulate his emotions. Therefore, hugging your child who is getting angry will not make him or her see it as a reward for his or her behavior and thus become increasingly angry. On the contrary. The child will learn sooner to calm down and regulate his agitation, and will gain confidence that the parent supports him even in those difficult moments. By hugging the child, we let him know that he can feel safe with us and learns to trust us. We respond to the signals he sends. When the toddler calms down, then it's time to talk and explain. However, as long as his body and brain are stimulated, any rational explanations, prohibitions or orders will not work.

This is because at birth and for many years thereafter, a child's nervous system is not mature enough to regulate large emotions on its own. Young children who experience something intensely have a hard time calming down. This does not mean that they are stubborn, spiteful, or that they manipulate adults. They just can't yet react in a different way and have yet to learn to do so.

A parent's affectionate touch causes the child's stress hormone levels to drop, which has a direct impact on the toddler's health. Staying stressed for long periods of time can weaken the immune system making it easier for a child to catch infections.

Hugging lowers blood pressure and heart rate, improves mood - it sends a signal to the body that we can calm down and relax. It is worth remembering this during medical interventions. Drawing blood, preparing for surgery or dealing with pain will be easier for a child if a parent is close and holds the toddler in his arms.

Stroking or cuddling pets also has a therapeutic effect. If you have a cat or dog you have surely experienced many times how soothing stroking a peacefully lying down and relaxed pet can be. Of course, closeness with a pet is no substitute for the care of a parent or other loved one, but it is worth remembering that our household pets can also support us (and with reciprocity).

Hugging has many benefits. But it is equally important to teach your child that his body belongs to him and he may not consent to being touched. Let your child decide whether he wants to hug or not. When he refuses to kiss or hug his aunt or uncle, he has the right to do so. By accepting such a decision from your child, you are building in him the belief that his boundaries are important and that other people cannot cross them without his explicit permission. This is a valuable lesson that will pay dividends in adolescence and adulthood. At the same time, if you wish to avoid conflict with your family, or are embarrassed to talk about unwanted kisses and hugs, then teach your child to greet you in a different way, such as by giving a high-five or a turtle.

There is another issue regarding touch. Namely, there is often a situation in which primary caregivers who spend all day with their children in the evening are heartily fed up with any physical contact. They feel that one more stimulus and they will explode. This is a natural phenomenon that occurs when touch is very intense, prolonged, and quite unpredictable (after all, a child may emerge from a room and start hugging when least expected). Paradoxically, what can make it easier to survive such a state is a deep, firm massage and pressure. It will help to regulate and calm the overstimulated and agitated nervous system. It's worth a try.

Literature:

- Field T. (2019), Pediatric Massage Therapy Research: A Narrative Review, Children
- Maitre N.L. et al. (2017), The Dual Nature of Early-Life Experience on Somatosensory Processing in the Human Infant Brain, Current Biology
- Grewen K.M. et al. (2003), Warm partner contact is related to lower cardivascular reactivity, Behavioral Medicine
- Walsh F. (2009), Human-animal bonds. The relational significance of companion animals, Family Process