Palejovo ABCs - ASSESSMENT

When a baby is born, words of delight come naturally and easily to parents. Caregivers enjoy every new skill achieved by the child, every word spoken and the adorable smiles that children can bestow like no one else.

Over time, as children become more independent, it becomes more difficult to inspire the same delight as in the first months or years of a child's life. This is a natural process that allows parents to slowly prepare for the fact that their little one will one day become an adult and leave the family nest. However, remember that noticing and appreciation has great value regardless of age. It is a sign of care and faith in the other person. Just as important as expressing appreciation for others is appreciating yourself and your efforts.

Researcher Carol Dweck stresses that it is the effort we put into a task that we should pay special attention to. She found that by praising someone's efforts, we help them develop a growth mindset. This growth mindset leads to enjoying taking on new and difficult tasks. Such a person has more courage and the conviction that he or she can do it, and if not - he or she will try again and eventually solve a problem or learn something new.

Noticing efforts and endeavors is especially important for children who are still developing and learning not only about the world, but also about themselves. When we praise children for how smart and beautiful they are then, paradoxically, instead of supporting them in building self-esteem and self-confidence, we can hinder them from doing so. In what way? After all, when complimenting a child, we have good intentions and want to show them how much we appreciate them. However, it turns out that by focusing on certain qualities, we reinforce in children the belief that they are smart, clever, savvy and intelligent, and this state of affairs will not change. Children who hear that they are stupid, lazy and hopeless also develop a sense that no matter what, they will remain just that.

People who constantly hear what they are like in the eyes of others begin to see themselves that way. That's why they are reluctant to take on new and difficult tasks, give up easily, don't take initiative and quickly break down by failures. Children who hear that they are foolish or lazy believe that they won't be able to handle a difficult task anyway. In contrast, children who are often praised for how smart and savvy they are reject new challenges out of fear of failure. They are afraid that they will fail at something and that failure will undermine their talents. They fear that in other people's eyes they will cease to be as smart and clever. This effectively discourages them from taking on new challenges.

How then to foster a growth mindset? How to appreciate a child to help him spread his wings?

When wanting to appreciate a child, focus on observations and facts.

Notice how much time and energy the child spent on the task. Take an interest in the task, the process, the drawing that the child has created. Ask some questions, ask what the child is most satisfied with and what he would like to improve.

If the child has failed at something, emphasize that he/she HERSELF does not know how to do a certain thing or activity, but will soon learn.

That little word "yet" has tremendous power. It shows the child that learning new skills is a process, and encourages challenges.

Appreciate not only your child, but also yourself, your partner(s), the people around you.

Often our biggest critic is ourselves. We easily cross out our successes, undermine our skills, and undermine our self-esteem by constantly comparing ourselves to other people. By approaching ourselves with more gentleness, enjoying what we have already achieved, and recognizing our own efforts, we set an example to the child of how to approach new challenges. In turn, by expressing appreciation for other people, we help children develop social competence. Children's relationships with their parents are reflected in their friendships. When we notice and appreciate our children and other family members, children are more likely to notice and appreciate others as well.

Let's show children the value of acting in a group.

Some tasks require cooperation. As much as we would like to, some things cannot be solved alone. The ability to work in a group and pay attention to the process and the path to the goal is an extremely valuable resource.

Let's teach children to solve problems in different ways.

Encourage them to share ideas and try to deal with difficulties, even if previous ways have not worked. Children can become discouraged by trying to solve a problem over and over again in the same, ineffective way. Let us then be supportive of them in finding new ideas and appreciate their efforts.

Literature:

Yeager, D.S., Dweck, C.S. (2012). Mindsets that promote resilience: When students believe that personal characteristics can be developed. Educational Psychologist