Palejovo ABCs - CURRENCY

The essence of patience is an active process. After all, it requires regulating one's emotions, looking at what we face differently than before, and adjusting one's actions to what is happening. Without these elements, it will be difficult for us to remain patient, and automatic behaviors perpetuated over the years will come to the fore. And thus, standing in a long traffic jam, we will again join the cacophony of horns, shout at a child (yet we were already supposed to be calm!), or change the queue at the store hoping that the next one will move faster.

Unfortunately, today's fast-paced world does not encourage the practice of patience. In fact, one could say that it effectively makes it more difficult. We have become accustomed to the fact that practically any information can be obtained in a few moments, and it doesn't take long to see results. In a world focused on quick results and not necessarily on quality, it is difficult to cultivate patience. People generally expect to have their needs met quickly, to find answers to questions quickly, and to see the results of their efforts quickly. Quick results are undoubtedly pleasant. Our brains then melt in ecstasy because the result appeared instantly and easily. In addition, tension descends from the body and relief comes. This can lull us into the trap of expecting that everything should come just as quickly.

But patience requires: pushing back quick results, learning to wait, dealing with unpleasant emotions or stress, making an effort. Sometimes you have to wait a long time for results.

Unaccustomed to waiting patiently, we may encounter discouragement, frustration and anxiety, even anger, on our way to achieving long-term goals. A thousand thoughts start running through our heads: what if we fail, what if it's always so difficult, what if it's all for nothing? Tension builds up in the body, discomfort appears, the heart beats faster, uncertainty grows about the results and what the next day will bring.

However, it is possible to train patience effectively, and it is worth doing, as it carries a number of benefits. First of all, patient people enjoy better mental health - they are able to regulate their emotional arousal more effectively and cope with difficult, stressful and unpredictable events. Such people also report that they often feel gratitude, bond with people (including strangers) and are hopeful in the face of challenges. In addition, they show greater empathy, which makes it easier for them to build good relationships with others and establish lasting relationships.

Just two weeks of patience training brings remarkable results. It is worth trying even at home and see what the results will be.

3 (not easy) suggestions:

1 Look at the situation you are in from a different perspective - it seems extremely difficult at first. How else can I look at what I am facing? After all, it's bad and period. However, it turns out that impatience is not just an automatic reaction over which we have no control. It also includes thoughts and beliefs. And we can consciously work on them. Therefore, the next time you feel yourself losing patience, try to catch the thought that popped into your head. Maybe you can rephrase it into a more constructive one? And if not, just catching such a hot thought allows you to stop and focus on the emotion it triggered. Do you feel anger and frustration? Try to react differently than you have been. Instead of yelling at your child or partner, take a quick jog around the house. Instead of cursing at traffic jams in the city center, turn on an audiobook and redirect your attention to listening to a book. These are, of course, just examples that don't have to suit you at all. Try to find situations that are closer to you.

2. practicing gratitude - every evening, write down or think of three things you are grateful for. This task may seem difficult at first, but after just a few days you will find that gratitude comes more and more naturally to you. Feeling gratitude makes it easier to see accomplishments and small successes that we don't pay attention to on a daily basis. It also brings relief when difficult moments happen in life.

3. breathing and mindfulness training - paying attention to our breath allows us to calm down, focus on our body and thoughts. With such a moment of conscious breathing, we can act more effectively and make thoughtful decisions rather than on impulse. It is worth paying attention to whether our breathing is shallow or deep, slow or fast. We can practice mindfulness not only by focusing on our breath, but on any daily activity - eating, walking or even brushing our teeth.

What about the children?

It would seem that children are impatient by nature. However, it depends on the particular child and the situation they find themselves in. Perhaps children are more likely than adults to be impatient in a long checkout line or ask for the hundredth time during a trip, "How much further?" But how patient and focused they can be when learning a new skill or playing: crawling, walking, putting together building blocks.

Often we ourselves also intensify children's impatient behavior. In what way? For example, by once again responding to their request to play with "soon," "later," "don't bother." After all, they usually try several times before they get angry and start crying, screaming or squealing out of boredom.

However, if we want to support children in learning patience, let's notice the moments when our kids are already patient. In addition, we can create a family daily ritual with the child, such as reading books before bedtime. Such repetitive activities allow the child to anticipate events, provide a sense of security, and teach that waiting is worth it, because something nice will happen later. On the other hand, while waiting for something far away (birthdays, holidays, trips), create a calendar in which the child ticks off the next day every day. Practice mindfulness and train the ability to relax. The book "Mindfulness and Frog Calm" by Eline Snel or the "Land of Mindfulness" series by Agnieszka Pawlowska work well for this purpose.