ABC by Paley – COURAGE
Then, in interviews, you can hear their modest comments that anyone in their shoes would do the same and it really wasn’t anything special. Is it just pretending modesty, or do these everyday heroes really fail to see their courage? For the courage is not to lack fear, but to act in spite of it. And each day is made up of more or less acts of courage.
Most parents would like their children to be brave and willing to take on new challenges. It is important for children to know that what looks like courage from the outside often takes a great deal of effort to overcome your disturbing and holding back thoughts and self-doubt. Courage does not always bring spectacular results. Sometimes they are tiny and almost invisible from the observer’s perspective. However, for a person who took an action, this particular step could mean a lot and bring them closer to the desired goal or give them strength to continue.
Sometimes courage comes with facing unpleasantness and self-doubt. It seems difficult and risky. When we have to defend ourselves and stand in opposition to other people, when we want to provide a different opinion, when we refuse, when others refuse to accept our refusal, when we show ourselves, and someone in response hurts us with painful words or gestures. By opening up to other people and revealing our secrets, thoughts and feelings, we do something very bold. We give a piece of ourselves, not knowing what we will get in return. Driven by fear, we can choose a sense of security that, although pleasant and warm, at some point can start to hurt. In a beautiful book by Asa Lind, Sand Wolf tells the main character, Karusia, that her bruises, caused by intense play, are medals of courage. It is a touching metaphor for what courage can be. Each of us carries millions of medals of courage. Each of us can see multi-colored bruises-medals, not only physical, but also emotional. By taking risks and acting in spite of our fear, we boldly face adversities, develop and get to know ourselves.
If we want to support our children in cultivating courage, let us remember to remind them of what they have already done and what they have accomplished. There were certainly times in their lives when they were scared but tried to do something nonetheless. Even if they didn’t get what they wanted then, they faced their own fear and experienced that they can keep trying even if they fail. Each experience gives us new information, enriches us with new knowledge and wisdom. Sometimes we learn most effectively from our mistakes. It is thanks to them that we develop and learn how to be better. Making room for failures and failures gives room for learning.
Whenever possible, encourage your child to try new things and take on new challenges. Join the child in these discoveries – perhaps new music, sports, food or a trip to a new place will bring you closer to each other and allow you to get to know each other better.
Ask your child for opinions on a variety of life topics. It is never too early to listen to your baby. Let your child know that they can change their mind, make decisions, say no, and be confident. This does not mean that you will always agree with each other. On the contrary. Different views and being guided by different values in life may contribute to the emergence of conflicts. Taking his opinion, changing your perspective, and admitting your mistake if you did, are also acts of courage. They are not always easy to do, but they are a great example and role model for young people. They allow them to walk through life with greater courage and take responsibility for their actions, successes and failures.
Sometimes it is courage to do what is terrifying and sometimes what is good and right for us. For young people who are very concerned about their peers’ acceptance, it can be difficult at times to decide what they really want to do and what will be beneficial for them. You can help your child make such difficult decisions by teaching them beforehand so that they think about a few things before making a choice: will what I want to do hurt me or another person? Is it right for me? Is it legal? Pondering these questions can help your child make the right decision. It may turn out to be against the rest of the group. Saying “no” to something we don’t want to do that others are doing is one of the bolder things that can be done. Equip your child with airbags when they have to face this situation. Come up with some answers that will clearly emphasize your child’s opinion while also helping him or her maintain a relationship with the people they care about.
Courage can open many doors to new possibilities. Let your child discover it in himself, but also take care of it at home. Positive things become powerful when we share them with others. Therefore, tell each other what you have done boldly. Celebrate even small acts of courage and each subsequent act will be easier.